concerningCONFIDENCE & SELF-ESTEEM

Sometimes confidence feels like something everyone else has. What is confidence? And why does it seem so difficult to master?

The reality is that everyone feels a lack of confidence at times. Confidence comes and goes - feeling confident is not a constant state of being. Most people are more confident in certain situations and less confident in others. Links can be drawn between confidence and assertiveness and confidence and self-esteem.

Self-confidence is a term we use to describe a sense of being generally OK with oneself. Having self-confidence suggests an overall positive appraisal of one's own worth. Self-confidence is a somewhat abstract concept, and may mean different things to different people. It is a fluid, changeable state of being. Some people make distinctions between self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. Others see these terms as variations of each other. In many ways, these terms are difficult concepts to define.

People with a healthy level of self-esteem often believe in a set of values and principles and feel secure in these principles. They often trust their own judgement and do not feel threatened by other people having differing opinions. They often trust in their own capacity to solve problems and face difficulties and they do not generally feel inferior or superior to others.

Low self-esteem often originates in early experiences, and frequently in adolescence. People with low self-esteem may feel they have failed at some important task. They may have an underlying sense of being 'not good enough'. They may feel inherently less worthy than other people. These underlying belief systems have a self-perpetuating effect and people with low self-esteem can often find much evidence to support their negative self-view. Low self-esteem can sometimes generate a powerful, relentless negative internal voice.

Low self-esteem and confidence problems can make many aspects of life more difficult. An unhealthy level of self-esteem can interfere with personal relationships and make intimacy with others feel uncomfortable.  Often people with low self-esteem treat themselves badly, believing other people are more worthy of their respect and care.

Self-confidence and self-esteem problems are usually deeply-rooted issues that can benefit from several types of therapy. For these kinds of issues, a therapist may use more traditional approaches to therapy or may suggest cognitive behavioural therapy. Some therapists may use a combination of both to treat confidence and self-esteem issues.

For more information about self-confidence and self-esteem matters, please get in touch.