concerningGAY ISSUES

Sexuality. It’s a word we use often but what does it really mean? Most definitions will include references to sexual attraction and sexual behaviour and some will include references to love and affection. Whether straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual, sexuality is about the quality of being sexual.

It’s about the force within us that makes us sexually and emotionally attracted to others.

Homosexuality was legalised in the UK in 1967 and the Civil Partnership Act providing legal recognition of same-sex relationships came into force in 2005.

A Google search of the phrase ‘gay issues’ will reveal much debate on thousands of websites about gay and lesbian marriage, gay people in the military, gay partner inheritance rights, gay adoption rights, gay health insurance issues and homophobia. For gay people, some aspects of life are less straight-forward than they might be for others.

While it’s true that some circumstances have improved for gay people in Europe and North America, being gay or lesbian can bring specific challenges. Sexuality is a powerful and important force within all of us, as is the need to be accepted and valued. Many people feel that homosexuality makes being accepted by friends, family and colleagues more difficult. Gay people often fear being rejected for their sexuality and coming out is one of the first challenges a gay person might face.

Some people find coming out very difficult while others have no problem revealing their sexuality. Some people choose not to reveal their sexual preferences to others. Coming out can be a significant event in a person’s life and everyone experiences this differently.

Many gay and lesbian people in the UK live very dynamic lives. An entire culture (of music, of literature, of history, of art, of theatre) has evolved around the gay movement. This culture contributes to many people, both gay and straight.

There are, as well, common concerns that gay men and women sometimes bring to counselling. Whether dealing with coming out, concerns about dating or relationships, sexual issues, family problems, self worth and self confidence issues or issues around health and HIV, therapy can be useful in making sense of sex and sexuality matters.

In therapy, some gay men and women have described feelings of shame or loneliness and some have felt so confused by their sexual feelings that they have questioned the value of life. There has also been a number of gay people who approach counselling with substance abuse problems or

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